When have you felt your sexiest? At what ages, at what times, and in what circumstances? What exactly was it that caused you to feel connected to your sexuality? What causes you to feel confident in your sexuality, and what makes you want to express it so it is no longer contained only in your inner space? Can you pinpoint what makes you feel sexy today?
What it is to Feel Sexy
Keep in mind: this does not mean or necessarily include anything involving sexual organs or physical acts. This discussion is about feeling sexy, which can and hopefully does accompany the physical component of sex but which neither requires that component nor always includes it.
To feel sexy is to feel attractive and powerful in your own unique energy and to have or desire the liberty to confidently express this facet of yourself. It is not so-called ‘icing on the cake’. In other words, it isn’t a superficial frivolity that only people with a certain amount of time, money, or a specific appearance can enjoy. Neither is it obtained with time, money, or said appearance.
Feeling sexy can sneak up on you when you least expect it, under any scenario. Think about it. You may plan to feel sexy when you dress a certain way, go out on a date or engage in intimacy activities with someone, but this sensation is not always planned (and nor does it always occur when you intend). So it is interesting to take note of the times when you have felt this way, whether on purpose or by accident. Think about what forces are at play to conjure such a feeling.
Busy Schedules Do Not Accommodate the Headspace to Feel Sexy
Many people are bogged down with the mundane activities of life. Depending on your job, the thoughts that dominate your mind may range from safety regulations to finances to feeding kids. Some people love their jobs and the thinking processes that their jobs require. Many find their mental engagements to be simply routine or perhaps mundane, and for some they are utterly draining.
Most of the time, it is safe to say that people’s jobs rarely facilitate the sort of thoughts that lead to one feeling sexy. They may feel important, needed, smart, dumb, perplexed (any programmers?), appreciated, exhausted, or energized, but rarely sexy. And then, at the end of the day, there are always plenty of chores to do at home (unless you are single and indulge in take-out, restaurants or frozen meals) before going to bed in order to get enough sleep to go to work again in the morning.
If you’re lucky, you may have some time for whatever indulgence before bed. This could be watching a movie, engaging in intimate activity, having a drink with a friend, or enjoying a hobby. Even when you do have time for something fun, how often do you feel sexy during that time? Hopefully this feeling accompanies any intimate/sexual activity you may enjoy, but for too many people, that is not the case as time is pressed (unless adequate sleep before the next work day isn’t a concern – as is the case for some lucky people who can thrive on a few hours of sleep!).
The Takeaway: Soul Search and Discover How You Feel Sexy
If feeling sexy is not something that you often experience due to the crowding of life’s other concerns and activities, it is especially important to think of when you have felt sexy and why. There may be a song that draws you out of your calcified shell of duties. There may be an archetype around whom you feel drawn out and expressive. You may have an interest for which you no longer prioritize time, but which brings you unexpected confidence and pride. When someone else notices or praises you in your strength, you glow. Because it is more than a job at which you excel. It is something that touches upon your core, with which you identify and which helps you to feel more you.
What is your sexy song? What space or circumstance makes you feel like a goddess or god with an array of admirers? Find a way to get back to that space. Bring it back into your life. Only you know how, and yes, you can find out how.