What do new years and beginnings mean to you? Do they swell with the anticipation of tackling fresh goals? Do you deep clean your house to clear away accumulated messes? Most importantly, do you dedicate time to clear your inner space to recharge? A new year is a perfect time to reflect and focus on yourself and what needs to change. But this is also appropriate at any time in your life. We all need to regularly reflect and reset. Just like cars and houses need ongoing maintenance, and our bodies need regular care, our inner essence – our soul, heart, mental health – needs regular care. If you neglect this, things inside of you will start to fall apart at the seams, and eventually so will your physical body. The good news is, no matter your mental or emotional condition, it is always a good time to clear your inner space.
In addition to any upcoming initiatives and challenges you are facing, I invite you to focus on your inner space in a grooming embrace. That is, go in with a mind to clear out negative thought patterns and deep-seated issues that limit your positive energy and personal potential. When was the last time you focused on yourself so deeply? Regardless of whatever else is going on in your life, set aside at least a little time this month for inner space clearing. You are worth it and you are fully capable of profound inner growth.
The Natural Trajectory of Psychological Health
As people age, they ideally become better persons through the process of life experiences and learning from those experiences. So long as they are developmentally sound, they take what they learn and apply it to make better decisions and revise their thoughts, words and actions for the better. Nobody is perfect at this and this does not mean they don’t still make plenty of mistakes along the way. But the long term general trajectory is one of moving forward. Nobody stays stagnant. If people stay stagnant, then they are technically moving backward because that means they are not mentally engaging with and applying new information and input to improve their selves. True stagnancy would only be possible for one who lives off the grid as a genuine hermit with zero human interaction, and even then, there is arguably still potential for mental input and improvement.
Those whose trajectory moves backward are those who allow the sort of mental or emotional blocks that prevent their growth. This is a choice they make that distinguishes them from those moving in the natural forward direction. (Please note that this applies to people who are developmentally sound; others with true developmental limitations or severe mental illness have neurological impairments that require professional treatment beyond the scope of this discussion).
It is improbable to gauge what percentage of people are moving in either direction, but I believe that those who are at least cognizant of their current state and who are trying to improve things one way or another are those on the natural forward trajectory. For those of us on that path, there is always a massive amount of unseen potential and we are all independently at various points on our own growth trajectories.
Maintain Regular Self-Care to Continue Growth and Prevent Breakdown
Most of us living modern lifestyles can find it challenging to hop off life’s busy bus for a me-team huddle. We are often time-pressed between work, school, children, and/or family engagements. Yet it is a most valuable habit to incorporate in your lifestyle, even if for only five minutes a day! I know I have been neglecting this crucial self-focus when I become bogged down with feelings of impostor syndrome, irrational guilt, and inexplicable shame. Those are the red flags waving me down to get my attention for relentless inner grooming. That is my spirit saying, ‘we don’t have time for this s*@t; let’s deal with it’. Though we rarely resolve inner turmoil in a ‘once and for all’ fashion, it is definitely possible to chip away at it toward increasing improvement!
Put Your Life and its Mistakes and Accomplishments in Perspective
You may subconsciously believe the depressing lie that your former struggles and mistakes have forever hindered your potential. When faced with these usual offenders of inner doubt and insecurity, stop and celebrate. Celebrate where you’ve been, every step of the way. Because though it has not been easy, you keep learning! Like many people, I’m not proud of many things I have believed, said or done. But I have learned to have grace with myself, and with others. We can embrace the understanding that allows the past to exist in a nonjudgmental space. Yes, things were wrong, other people were wrong, and I was wrong, but I have grown, learned, and moved on. We are not the sum of our mistakes, but colorfully transformed products of our life experiences.
I understand why I took every step I took over the years. I’ve also come to better understand why others have made the choices they made. And I’ve found that, contrary to what I previously believed, my mistakes weren’t abnormal or unusual. Other people in similar circumstances have had just as many problems. Maybe their situations didn’t look identical, but I’m confident that we all have a lot more similarities than we think.
Avoid Comparing Yourself and Your Life to Others
You aren’t alone in your history of infringements, no matter how alone you may feel. Few people you know will openly share 100% of their mistakes in any casual interaction. You should at least assume that we are all in this making-mistakes-and-learning-business together. (For legal or severely moral infractions that warrant retrospective repair, there are qualified resources beyond this site’s scope). When you make focused efforts to clear your inner space of the fog surrounding old negative emotions, beliefs and thought patterns, you begin to see yourself in your own beautiful light and unhinge the potential that was previously held back by unhealthy mental processes.
Understand that everybody has made understandable mistakes. While some are more serious than others, there are vast dynamics at play throughout the entirety of our lives, especially in the first few years, that affect our likelihood of following any given path. In other words, if somebody you know who seems perfect had grown up in the exact same family, environment and life circumstances that you had, with the same neurological DNA, they likely would have turned out more like you. And vise versa. So learn to have grace with yourself and others for what has already been done.
The Takeaway: Time-Out, Reflect, Clear Your Inner Space, and Celebrate All Your Potential
Know that your life is not set in stone on a rigid trajectory based on everything that’s happened so far. Regardless of where you come from, who you are or have been, or anything else, you have the power to grow into the loving and powerful person you really are underneath all the trauma, shame and any other negative experiences. Past mistakes and character struggles only continue to live on as such if you allow yourself to repeat them after knowing better, after having evolved to become a more enlightened and mature individual, aspiring to live at your truest potential.
Check your thoughts and clear your inner space. Also, check your environment and the people around you, as they can either boost or bleed your state of mind. Whatever you can or cannot control regarding your external circumstances, at least seek a star with whom to connect. Find someone whose energy resonates with where you want to be. Find someone who is also aspiring to brighten their internal space and moving in the same direction. That star will encourage you to burn brighter. And when you feel supported by uplifting people, you find more grace in your heart to set healthy boundaries from which you can safely and genuinely love and forgive those who do not support the true you. Accept yourself with patience and understanding. Clear out old baggage so it stops holding you back or interfering with your present and future endeavors. You got this!